Esse Quam Videri

Darrin Patrick | Re:Lit Book | Church Planter Intro

2010-09-27T21:38:00.000-05:00

What is really ment by Jesus' Baptism with Fire

2009-03-01T13:18:00.003-06:00

Life Goal

2009-02-27T21:52:00.001-06:00

Peasent - We're Good

2009-02-19T10:42:00.000-06:00

My Wordle Picture

2009-02-12T10:34:00.004-06:00

Compliments of wordle.net

The False Promised land

2009-02-02T22:50:00.006-06:00

A look at romantic love as viewed from
Bonheoffer’s Life Together
. . . Just in time for Valentines Day
note - This is a re-writing of an earlier post I did, so i deleted the old one.

Bonheoffer’s Life Together is a Christian classic that has much to say to a sex-obsessed generation of consumer Christianity, shallow relationships, and individualism. America ranks high in percentages of it’s people who suffer from depression (the most common thing bringing clients into the counseling office), and even higher in the number of divorces. The sad truth shows that this trend is even matched among those within the church. It is my belief that one of the primary reasons for a number of the failing marriages around us stems from a sense of “wrong thinking” about the goal and nature of these romantic relationships. Indeed, a key component and school of counseling is that of Cognitive Behavior, and Rational Emotive Behavior therapy, which are based on the assumption that humans are born with a potential for both rational or ‘straight’ thinking, and irrational or ‘crooked’ thinking. Cognitive therapy looks at psychological problems as stemming from processes such as faulty thinking making incorrect inferences on the basis of inadequate or incorrect information, and failing to distinguish between fantasy and reality. Larry Crabb, a distinguished Christian Counselor and author from Denver, Co. notes

“every problem can be traced directly to a wrong assumption about how to meet personal needs. The primary problem with people today is misplaced dependency. We depend on everything but God to meet our fundamental needs . What then do we try to change? How a person thinks, what he is depending on, what he believes he must have if he is to feel truly worthwhile. We must change his mind. Transformation depends on renewing not our feelings, not our behavior, not our circumstances, but our minds. . . Right behavior stemming form right thinking yields a joyful, natural desired obedience to the God who has made us whole persons, both significant and secure. Even if right behavior accomplishes the goal, if the goal is not biblical, has Christian maturity been promoted? If a woman believes that her entire reason for living depends on her husband’s love, more effective wifely behavior may help her reach her goal of more attention from her husband, but she will not have added an inch to her spiritual stature. Biblical counseling should first teach her that Christ is her reason for living (right thinking), then should help her become a better wife (right behavior), not primarily to win her husband, but rather to please the lord and minister to her husband (right goal) if he loves her in return, praise the Lord. If her husband does not return her love, she is still a whole, secure woman, capable of going on for God.”#

Personally I found myself often left longing somehow to share life with another, to know and to be known, to bear my soul and longings to them, to come face to face with another who is frustrated with this life and all the junk that comes along with it, and to face it together. To find myself romantically involved with a person and that somehow someday this experience, or rather, that person would make me complete, or complete something in myself that was left lacking. But when these longings of mine are left unfulfilled, I was left to ponder them, to question myself, and my value, but even more importantly to question the validity of such relationships, and their significance. Perhaps these feelings of distress where caused by wrong expectations of these relationships.
My roommate and I talked about this often. One day he randomly came up to me and said, "its kind of like we have made this hope for a future mate into our own type of promised land that we are longing for." This really caught me off guard, but he was dead on. This whole desire that I have found in myself and others has become a substitute for our desiring of our communion with Christ, and real community with those around us. I had made it an idol, and I suspect I was not alone in this.
This longing to be made complete through immediate contact with another is one of the most rampant and often missed Idols that is plaguing our society and especially the church today, and I would bet that it is a major reason for the failing marriages that we are experiencing. Shane Claiborne in a recent interview, said of this idea, that

"we've idolized marriage to the point that that’s what everyone feels that they have to do! I can remember hearing a children’s sermon where a pastor showed a picture of a husband a wife and two children, then he prayed a prayer that each of them would find the one that God has for them. That’s horrible theology! (Consider) Mother Teresa- oh bless her heart, she didn’t find her hubby! And I think if we created communities where people can experience community and love, we transcend some of these issues. As one of my mentors said, he's been celibate for 50 years, ‘we can live without sex but we cant live without love.’ the church is a place were people should love and be loved."

Pages 32-37 in Life Together have a lot to say about how we think in terms of relationships with others, and while this is not specifically speaking to marriage relationships, the concept is overarching, bringing many different types of interactions under its umbrella. In speaking of applying the concept to romance Halden states

"Certainly Bonheoffer did not intend to write a treatise on romantic love for twenty-first century Christians who still happen to be single and think that marriage is going to fulfill them somehow. However, in an age where our longings for friendship and intimacy are ciphered through the ubiquitous notion of romantic self-fulfillment, Bonheoffer’s critique has a great deal to offer in smashing some key idols that plague us. The fact is that in our romantic imaginations we seem to remain disturbingly trapped in the zeitgeist of our age, hoping that by journeying deeper into the abyss of our selfishness we will somehow find the community that we long for with the other. As Bonheoffer points out however, the only way to find such true communion is the release of the other from our longings for possession and domination. For the Christian, true love, and indeed true romantic love, must take the shape of kenotically making space for the freedom of the other, rather than seeking to captivate and secure them in relationship to oneself."#

This is all found in Boenhoffer’s contrast of spiritual love and self-centered or emotional love. The first that he describes is that of the emotional or human love stating that in it

“there exists a profound, elemental emotional desire for community, for immediate contact with other human souls, just as in the flesh there is a yearning from immediate union with other flesh. This desire of the human soul seeks the complete intimate fusion of I and You, whether this occurs in the union of love or — what from this self-centered perspective is after all the same thing — in forcing the other into one’s own sphere of power and influence. . .Self-centered love loves the other for the sake of itself; spiritual love loves the other for the sake of Christ. That is why self-centered love seeks direct contact with other persons. It loves them, not as free persons, but as those whom it binds to itself. It wants to do everything it can to win and conquer; it puts pressure on the other person. It desires to irresistible, to dominate. Self-centered love does not think much of truth. It makes the truth relative, since nothing, not even the truth, must come between it and the person loved. Emotional, self-centered love desires other persons, their company. It wants them to return its love, but it does not serve them. On the contrary, it continues to desire even when it seems to be serving.”

This type of love is by its very nature desire, “desire for self-centered community. As long as it can possibly satisfy this desire, it will not give it up, even for the sake of truth, even for the sake of genuine love for others. But where it can no longer expect its desire to be fulfilled, there it stops short-namely, in the face of an enemy. There it turns into hatred, contempt, and calumny.” This attitude toward others is precisely that of our cultures attitude toward romance and personal fulfillment. We are bombarded with this ideal in our hit television shows, best-selling books, and most popular movies. Ours is that of a culture saturated in false hopes and unattainable dreams of a “happy ever after” ending, that we believe only comes from finding “the one”(sound familiar? think Twilight, which is a pretty pathetic story anyway.). Boenhoeffer also shares the idea that these kind of interactions can become an idol, saying that “ Human love makes itself an end in itself. It creates of itself an end, an idol which it worships, to which it must subject everything. It nurses and cultivates an ideal, it loves itself and nothing else in the world.” This sounds similar to the common saying of “being in love with love”.
And again, with everything else we find in scripture, there seems to be a strict dichotomy between the ways of the world and that of the kingdom. In this case it is evident in what Bonhoeffer calls spiritual love. He then goes on to explain the way that this love manifests itself to the other, in that it comes from Christ alone, having no immediate contact with the other. . .

“Jesus Christ stands between the lover and the others he loves. . . What love is, only Christ tells us in his word. Contrary to all my own opinions and convictions, Jesus Christ will tell me what love toward the brethren really is. Therefore spiritual love is bound solely to the word of Jesus Christ. Where Christ bids me to maintain fellowship for the sake of love, I will maintain it. Where truth enjoins me to dissolve a fellowship for the love’s sake, there I will dissolve it, despite all the protests of my human love. Because spiritual love does not desire but rather serves, it loves an enemy as a brother. It originates neither in the brother nor in the enemy but in Christ and his word. Human love can never understand spiritual love, for spiritual love is from above; it is something completely strange, new and incomprehensible to all earthly love.
Because Christ stands between me and others, I dare not desire direct fellowship with them. As only Christ can speak to me in such a way that I may be saved, so others too, can only be saved by Christ himself. This means that I must release the other person from every attempt of mine to regulate, coerce, and dominate him with my love. The other person needs to retain his independence of me, to be loved for what he is, as one for whom Christ brought forgiveness of sins and eternal life. . . Human love constructs its own image of the other person, of what he is and what he should become. It takes the life of the other person into his own hands. Spiritual love recognizes the true image of the other person which he has received from Jesus Christ; the image that Jesus Christ himself embodied and would stamp upon all men. . . It will rather meet the other person with the clear word of God and be read to leave him alone with this word for a long time, willing to release him again in order that Christ may deal with him. It will respect the line that has been drawn between him and us by Christ, and it will find full fellowship with him in the Christ alone who binds us together. “

This then is the way of love as found in the life that Christ has called us too. It is not a possessive love, seeking to validate something in the lover by finding something in the loved one which he can then make his own, which is a definition of a parasite. But rather, it “creates freedom of the brethren under the word.” In order to find this love and live it however, we will need to completely re-imagine all the ways we desire community, seek it out, and then remain in it. Maybe only then, when our views of romantic relationships are understood correctly in light of Christ, the cross, and his resurrection, will we be able to love and be loved as we were intended, and to find the true place and significance of romantic love.

“The existence of any Christian life together depends on whether it succeeds at the right time in bringing out the ability to distinguish between a human ideal and God’s reality, between spiritual and human community.”

Pretty girl in my occipital lobe: A memoir by Parker Williams (As Written by Cody Vanvactor)

2009-01-02T01:53:00.002-06:00

In a society like this, danger is lurking around every corner. Why do they torment? What sick pleasure can they derive by tantalizing our senses with alluring aromas and sparkling... ...sparkles?

A light switch in my home is mildly broken. If one flips it too gently, it is stuck half way. The flickering lamp in the corner may drive me to madness one day. I used to believe that women were like normally functioning healthy light switches.

However, I recently concluded that they are inexplicably and precisely like the switch in my home with its oscillating malady. The mystique is irresistible and THE leading cause of early death in all men in the world, ever!

One of the driving principles of women's complaints is commitment. The general idea is that men have the problem.

aside: Yes Dear. It is my fault. I won't commit. I'm sorry, for having these hesitations. It is just difficult when you make me dinner and smile right before you try to disconnect the brakes from my car.

Does the gleam in your eye mean that you love me, or that you want to implant this cutlery in my occipital lobe? While you're there, give me a bit of surgery. Cut yourself from the back of my mind. I think they call it a biopsy.

I know it is a tough decision for you, but I'm holding out hope that you'll change your mind... ...every 4 minutes and 18 seconds... ...for the next 60 years.

It is better to have loved and done 20 years for murder than to never have loved at all.

Damon on Palin

2008-10-19T11:36:00.001-05:00

Jesus is a friend of mine

2008-09-11T21:49:00.004-05:00

Note on of the later verses- "once i tried to run - i tried to run and hide. but jesus came and found me and touched me down inside! he is like a mountie - he always gets his men. And he'll zap you anyway he can. Zap!"

wow

Democritization of American Christianity

2008-09-09T10:32:00.005-05:00

Recently i wrote a rather short critique of CH. 4 of Nathan O. Hatch's book Democratization of American Christianity for my restoration history class. . . SO. . . Here she be. . .

Democratization of American Christianity

While I found this article to be extremely helpful in adding to my understanding of the early trends of not only the beginnings of the restoration movement, but to the early American church as a whole- it did raise some concerns on my part. The early thrust of the restoration movement seems to me to simply have picked up on the ideals of the current political movement of their day.

The main concern of mine is the fact that the early history of the American church was steeped in rugged individualism. This individualism is at the very heart of American culture and has done nothing but grow over the last two hundred years. There were many good and beneficial things coming out of this attitude- for one the discovering of America, also the revolution, the settling of the frontier (if you can call that a good thing considering the atrocities that were committed in the name of “manifest destiny“) and innumerable advancements in all areas of the world in which we now live. Indeed we are very indebted to this philosophy of life that is still held as a heroic lifestyle, however, there have also been some consequences, the magnitude of which has not completely been realized as of yet.

In my opinion this article highlights simply the rebellious nature of the ‘founding fathers’ of the Restoration Movement. Our author notes in the opening line that these religious movements and our government all “took root in the same soil”# stating simply that the ideals that pushed Americans west, and created this democracy, all grew out of this same idealism. He states, “Scholars have generally viewed stones beliefs as the product of the rough and tumble context of the frontier and of the rampant emotionalism of the Great Revival.”# We should of course be thankful to this idealism for its rebellion against un-biblical and tyrannical forms of church leadership at the time, and for the founding of great religious movements. However, this attitude brought about some rather questionable conclusions. An example at first glance would be their opposition and overthrowing of church leadership, “placing laity and clergy on equal footing and to exalt the conscience of the individual over the collective will of any congregation or church organization”#. This tenet among others, while freeing the individual to challenge hazardous and unbiblical ideals, chips away at the authority of the church and of church government. Potentially creating a form of ‘feel good’ congregation, immune to church discipline and organization. They called for an “abolition of organization restraints of any kind” and to “impose any form of government upon the church . . . Should be justly abandoned by every child of gospel liberty.”# This ideal to me stinks of nothing more than a desire to rule oneself - free from the accountability and directing of the body of Christ. This may however not be the case and simply our authors misconception that he portrays in this article.

I do believe that some of the ideals that our fathers here rallied around set up for us this belief of the ‘Divinity of Democracy’. Holding the idea that our government now forces on others, that the philosophy of democracy as we have it is an institution and an inerrant gospel that must be realized by all in order to a humane, Christ honoring individual or government. This ideal has led to preachers, evangelist, and missionaries tacking on the system of democracy to the message of Christ. Causing many eastern non-Christians to associate Christianity with the west and democracy, thus wholly opposing both systems. This rallying around democracy and pushing of this form of government as part of Christianity has been a detriment to the ‘power-under’ mindset of the kingdom of God.(See Gregory A. Boyd The Myth of a Christian Nation) it seems to me that ‘No Creed But Christ’ may have also picked up the preaching of democracy as well. This however is not saying that we should pick some other governmental system to model our communities by, but to simply be different than the nations we see around us. Choosing only to live and preach that which we see being lived and preached by Christ and the apostles.

University Lipdub

2008-08-21T20:45:00.000-05:00

awesome- -

University Lipdub (HS Furtwangen) from DASKAjA on Vimeo.

2008-08-09T14:51:00.002-05:00

i have grown increasingly fond of Shane Claiborne these last few months as what i have come to call my Third Conversion has started to take some flesh and blood. I often try hard to stay away from what i consider "pop-christian" authors and their influence for numerous reasons, attempting to learn more from those who have proven themselves and their theology from years (if not centuries) of living the cross. However after reading his books, listening to interviews, and looking at his community in Philly, I dare say that Mr. Claiborne is setting himself up to be learned from and quoted for many years to come. Not because anything he is saying is new, its been lived out for the last 2,000 yrs. But hes seems to have spearheaded bringing this to the common person who otherwise wouldn't pick up or ever hear of Yoder and the like.

I recently came across this interview/debate between him, Greg Boyd, and Chuck Colson. What follows is an amazing debate between the worldview and mindset the generation or two before us have bought into (Chuck Colson seems to voice some of these in the interview),and those caught up in this "awakening that is so old it looks new". Great introduction to these internal issues and differences between these brothers, and this revolution.

Three Degrees of Separation from Speaking of Faith on Vimeo.

Grand Junction Colorado- The first part of my trip

2008-07-21T15:04:00.012-05:00

Well- my trip started out interesting enough- getting gas stolen from me outside of STL at a gas station- long story. However the trip picked up quick enough in the Denver airport when, right next to my gate i found a very welcome sight- the New Belgium Hub. New Belgium is one of my favorite breweries, out of Fort Collins Colorado, they have become well known around the country, growing to the third largest craft brewer in the US, so of course they have become a Colorado favorite. Their most widely known beer is Fat Tire, an amber ale, which you can get about anywhere now. Although my favorite libation from this very progressive wind-powered brewery is the 1554, an enlightened black ale. New Belgium was "born from a bike seat" when the founder, Jeff Lebesch travelled across Europe on his bike, touring the best breweries in the world, only to return to the US and brew fat tire simply as a home brew at first. Then six years later in 1991, he and his wife launched New Belgium, with that inspired brew as their staple beverage.

So, fate has now guided my trip into a tour of breweries here in Grand Junction, only to be capped by the Oregon Brewers Festival the 24th-27th in Portland, which I am greatly looking forward to sharing with my friends there. But back to Grand Junction (BTW i have yet to find this actual "Junction" that everyone keeps telling me is so "Grand" but i digress. . .)

Josh and Bethany live in Fruita, which is right outside of Grand Junction and a little smaller, with mountains surrounding the whole valley. Absolutely Beautiful. However these cities here in the valley, while having multiple good brewers and other local flavors, doesn't seem to be as progressive as i pictured a Colorado town. Sound like they are doing well though. We had an amazing Pesto Pizza(Pesto, mozzarella, feta, tomatoes, and garlic) at the "Hot Tomato cafe"
With mountains surrounding this whole area, this valley has become a kind of mecca for mountain biking. There seems to be a bike shop on every corner, and Fruita is home to the Fruita Fat Tire Festival (yes, sponsored and named after New Belgium), as well as five other festivals throughout the year including "Mike the Headless Chicken Festival". This rather interesting festival is in honor of a chicken, whose body supposedly lived for two years after it had its head removed. But i have my doubts. There is even a statue in memoriam of this peculiar headless mcnugget.

There is much more to say about this part of the trip. . .maybe ill add more next time, also to see the rest of the pics and breweries here in Grand Junction check out my photobucket album

The Promised Land

2008-07-10T09:56:00.004-05:00

These past months(3-4?) have been a constant struggle of loneliness.Longing somehow to share life with another, to know and to be known, to bear my soul and longings to another, to come face to face with anther who is frustrated with this life and all the shit that comes along with it, and to face it together. But when these longings of mine are left unfulfilled, I'm left to ponder them, to question their significance, to question myself, my value, and the validity of such relationships.

Chad and i talked about this often, one day he randomly came up to me and said, "its kind of like we have made this hope for a future mate into our own type of promised land that we are longing for."

This really caught me off guard, but he was dead on. This whole desire that i have found in myself and others has become a substitute for our desiring of our communion with Christ, and real community with those around us.

But i didn't know much more than that, let-alone what to do with this new info or what anything different would look like.

This morning I was reading on Stephen Lawsons blog and he had posted this article (READ IT)over at Inhabitatio Dei

"Certainly Bonhoeffer did not intend to write a treatise on romantic love for twenty-first century Christians who still happen to be single and think that marriage is going to fulfill them somehow. However, in an age where our longings for friendship and intimacy are ciphered through the ubiquitous notion of romantic self-fulfillment, Bonhoeffer’s critique has a great deal to offer in smashing some key idols that plague us. The fact is that in our romantic imaginations we seem to remain disturbingly trapped in the zeitgeist of our age, hoping that by journeying deeper into the abyss of our selfishness we will somehow find the community that we long for with the other. As Bonhoeffer points out however, the only way to find such true communion is the release of the other from our longings for possession and domination. For the Christian, true love, and indeed true romantic love, must take the shape of kenotically making space for the freedom of the other, rather than seeking to captivate and secure them in relationship to oneself."

Basically our longing for romance has become another idol for my generation. This could be another explanation for all the failing marriages around us. Once we find that person and marry, we are then complete.
But now I'm beginning to see the fallacy in this. I no longer wish to be polluted by this worlds own promised land. So I'm trying now to learn to be alone and not be lonely, to find myself again in Christ. To see that he is my fulfillment, he is making me complete. To live in this sacrificial christian love. Maybe then someday my view of romantic relationships will be understood correctly in light of the cross and the Resurrection. To find that his grace really is enough.

Maybe only then can a romantic relationship find its true significance and place. After all, when we are looking for something from another person to complete something in us the relationship becomes parasitic, and doesn't work.

"For it is in confession and prayer one to another that the darkness of our lives and inclinations are exposed to the light of the gospel, bringing us into freedom. And, living as we now do in the sphere of freedom, we are able to love one another without the drive toward possessiveness remaining sovereign. Lives that eschew the lust for domination that is encoded within the discourse of romantic love today are indeed possible. And it is only in such lives in which all our loves and longings are reconfigured by the gospel that we can find true freedom from the powers that enslave us in regard to sexuality and romance."

So now i just need to find practical ways to live with eternity and Christ as my promised land.

Shalom

2008-07-05T09:59:00.001-05:00

Bush Tours America To Survey Damage Caused By His Disastrous Presidency

Naked Intimacy

2008-06-24T13:25:00.004-05:00

To Be Naked
(This post a joint effort between Chad Harrington and PW)

To be naked and not to feel naked is intimacy. Wait. That’s a final thought. Let me start form the beginning.

This is a thought that I have wrestled with for a number of years but has recently been brought to the forefront. I mulled through my feelings a while back about this issue again with my friend Candice, after a full day of climbing and getting to know new friends. Then after I sent a recent email of honesty, it was brought back to my attention. The whole argument goes back to my desire to someday be at the place where I can be completely open, honest, and transparent with everyone. Not only (but especially) with the people that I am closest too, but also with everyone that I come in contact with. To be an open book to the world. To be naked. And to be at a point in my relationship with Christ that, whatever those people feel about it, and whatever consequences there may be, don’t matter. Simply because I belong to Christ. Even when my honesty seems to not be taken well, or when the outcome is not quite what I was hoping for.

I guess this is all another attempt to know others and to be know. An attempt to create more unity. A closer community. To get out of the realm of shallow, fake relationships and conversations.

There is always something refreshing about a friend who often tells you what they appreciate about you, why they like being around you, why you are a unique individual. And on the other end of the spectrum, that friend that tells you when you have hurt them, as well as telling you when you have done something that that has annoyed them. We also have to keep in mind the psychological affects form bottling up emotions and thoughts. I guess that’s all part of learning to live in an intentional community with others. . .

John Elldredge makes similar statements in his book Wild at Heart when he says to “let people feel the weight of who you are, and let them deal with it.” I can hardly count with both hands the number of close friendships and relationships I have seen destroyed because of simple lack of raw honesty because there are too many. It makes me sick. And after suffering these tragedies, I no longer want to be the culprit

There are of course, major obstacles to this way of living. We like to put our best selves to the forefront, to portray our best selves. We often come to the point of being very self- promoting. Showing things about ourselves that are socially acceptable, or exaggerating different aspects of ourselves just enough to make us more attractive to those around us. John says it well-

“So maybe I try too hard
But it's all because of this desire
I just wanna be liked
I just wanna be funny
Looks like the jokes on me
So call me captain backfire”

(I cant believe I actually quoted John Mayer. . .)hahah.
So. . .Is this a phenomena that crosses the cultural divide or something we just find in America? Where we feel like we have to sell ourselves to others.

You could also quote Jack:

“Cash in your blanks, your little toy tanks,
Learn how to use them, abuse them,
Choose them over conversations,
relationships are overrated
‘I hated everyone,’ said the sun.”

This has to be something from God, like fidelity, faithfulness, relationships with others. I guess this whole concept kinda goes back to the incarnation. That whole thing about the Image of god that is put in us. Just think of the relationships in and among the trinity. Like the desire we have for fidelity in romantic relationships. All these thing we don’t really find in the animal world.

Then all this moves into the issue of recognition. When is it good to be recognized? When to disclose information about self?
Chad and I where talking about this whole subject, and the discussion led to how we carried ourselves in our time at Ozark. We found that we often had to guard ourselves with who we are open with, picky with who we associate with and why. We would kind of try to find people who are good enough to know us. People who would be ok with who are. People that wouldn’t try to force onto us some sort of false morality or ethic in order to measure our spirituality a little easier. This also came out in our dating. We are cautious who we let know us. Because we have to be comfortable that we would be accepted by them. The fear of them not accepting us. Need to be accepted. We pick people who are most like us because they are most likely to accept us.

The fall and Satan has perverted the relationship of knowing and being known. Just like he has perverted sexual relationships. I guess we just don’t realize the effect that sin has had on us, and how nothing is quite how it is supposed to be, or how the fall has effected every area of our life. These are institutions that were designed by God.

This all then moves back to the garden of Eden . Doug marks says that the fall affected us in 3 areas - guilt, shame, and nakedness.
Nakedness wasn’t a problem before we realized it, like eating never became a problem until we chose the wrong fruit.

It wasn’t until she took a bite that she realized she was naked. She didn’t realize that anything was wrong with her. Same thing with Adam. When they realized they were naked and they heard God walking in the cool of the day, they hid. God said, “Where are you?” “I’m hiding over here because I was afraid to be seen naked.” When sin entered the scene, they knew they weren’t perfect. Adam and Eve were naked and ashamed. Shame entered humanity. Before shame, they were still naked, but they weren’t embarrassed about who they were. They were transparent and boldly themselves...every part of them. But who they were was good. Sin had not entered into them. They didn’t know evil. But then their eyes were opened and they saw themselves as naked... sinful... and shameful.

So they hid.

To be naked and unashamed is what I want. The only hope for shameless nakedness is to be restored to what was true before the fall, before sin. We must become what they were when they were naked and unashamed.

Sin makes us ashamed. When we wear clothes (metaphorically speaking) over our souls, it’s very easy to cover up the parts of us that we don’t want seen. If there’s a little fat on our hips, a baggy shirt with a cool logo will take the focus off of our rockin’ love handles. If our arms are flabby, a long-sleeve shirt does the trick. If our faces are ugly, there’s not a whole lot you can do. But that’s beside the point.

Everyone has part of themselves that they like to hide. I’m hiding that part of me from you right now by talking in non-specifics. The reason that Adam and Eve felt shame is that they saw themselves through the eyes of Another and did not think it was okay, that they would be disappointing. Before, they weren’t even concerned about themselves. Their authenticity (nakedness) wasn’t even in their consciousness. It takes two things to be ashamed: to see yourself through the eyes of another and to know your depravity.

There are two things that can happen when one is totally authentic: to be accepted or rejected. Fear is when we are afraid of being rejected. Shame is when we are rejected. Guilt is knowing that our shame is our own fault. Sin makes for guilt and nakedness makes for shame. We are guilty when we realize that we sinned. We are shamed when we realize that someone else knows about our sin. Nakedness exposes our real colors, our real skin, our real selves.

When one fears nakedness, it is because they fear being shamed (other people realizing their sin). So either they ignore their sin or they get rid of it. Those who don’t ignore it, but take care of it find satisfaction in purity, sinlessness. Those are the only two options. If we ignore it, we are simply suppressing it and bottling it up. But in Christ, we have the opportunity to become good again. We can now ignore it because Christ has gotten rid of it. We have the opportunity to see ourselves through God’s eyes again how Adam and Eve once saw themselves... as good. Instead of ignoring our sin that came into the world by the fruit of a tree, Christ came and dealt with our sin once and for all by dying on a tree. By taking all the shame we should feel, Christ raises us to our feet and tells us we can now stand naked and unashamed. We can be naked and unashamed because no matter what the world tells us about ourselves, no matter how they perceive us, there’s only one opinion that matters. There’s only one person who can see our true colors, our true skin, or true selves and see us for how we really are. And so we can go back to that garden in the cool of the day and walk around being completely, authentically ourselves. This is what Christ has done in us—he was naked and shamed so that we can be naked and unashamed.

The beauty of the redeemer is that he takes our fallen state and our suckiness, and we admit to God in his presence who we are, how lost we really are. Then god lifts us up . And loves us anyway. In that moment we are redeemed. In that moment we are completely open, honest and transparent. We are naked again. We are moving back to the garden. The thing that we had hidden out of shame at first are now in the open. Our nakedness and our sin. But this time is different. Because we are honest. Then we find intimacy.

Or maybe this all just means that i shouldnt wear clothes any more. . . which i do from time to time. People dont quite like that much. So i had to put my clothes back on.

Psalm 119

2008-04-16T21:18:00.001-05:00

Psalm 119

65 You have dealt well with your servant,
O Lord, according to your word.
66 Teach me good judgment and knowledge,
for I believe in your commandments.
67 Before I was afflicted I went astray,
but now I keep your word.
68 You are good and do good;
teach me your statutes.
69 The insolent smear me with lies,
but with my whole heart I keep your precepts;
70 their heart is unfeeling like fat,
but I delight in your law.
71 It is good for me that I was afflicted,
that I might learn your statutes.
72 The law of your mouth is better to me
than thousands of gold and silver pieces.

2008-04-16T20:26:00.000-05:00

Love for enemies

2008-04-15T13:59:00.008-05:00

I was thinking about this verse the other day. Wondering who my enemies were. I really couldn't come up with a single person. At that point I couldn't come up with much more than what my enemies weren't. Our enemies are not people who look different than us. Our enemies are not people who claim to be on the other political party that we prefer. Our enemies are not the rival sports team. Our enemies are not former friends who wronged us in some petty way. Our enemies are not past lovers, or their new significant other. Our enemies are not the rival denomination down the street. Our enemies are not homosexuals. Our enemies are not the competing business, school, etc.

Too often we behave in a way that says that certain people are on the other side of the battle line, when in fact we are fighting against our brothers. Jesus states "If a kingdom is divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand. 25If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand" (I know this is taken slightly out of context, however applications can still be made.) By this definition I really didn't have enemies as w had once thought of our enemies. I finally had to come to the understanding that our enemies would be those who violently, directly, deliberately, consciously, and passionately oppose us because of our allegiance to Christ. Our faith should be so bold and shrewd that it creates enemies. Again according o this definition,i couldn't think of a single soul that had attacked me because of my love for Christ and my allegiance to his kingdom.

However, our commander in chief did not hesitate to show me who my enemies are, and how to deal with them. He tells me every time i see him through my box that my enemies are the terrorist living on the other side of the world. huh. i guess they really are. They are violently opposing me and my Jesus. Mr. Bush, he being the great Christian leader that he is, led the way in showing us the way of Christ by 'riding the world of evil' and killing those who are opposing us. wait. i guess that's not quite how Jesus put it.

You have heard it said, "Love your neighbor and hate your enemy." But I tell you love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. --Jesus

After thinking about this i came across this ministry. . .
Adopt a Terrorist For Prayer

I like the point he made about Paul being a former terrorist.

America's war has destroyed many things but one of the biggest is the witness of Christans in the U.S.

I Cant help but think of God's response to the Jews about their ethnocentricity against the gentiles. When they rejected Christ along with their neighbors, God seemed to say, "OK. Because of this I will reveal myself to your enemies and show myself and my love through them."
Acts 13:46-48
46Then Paul and Barnabas answered them boldly: "We had to speak the word of God to you first. Since you reject it and do not consider yourselves worthy of eternal life, we now turn to the Gentiles. 47For this is what the Lord has commanded us:
" 'I have made you[a] a light for the Gentiles,
that you[b] may bring salvation to the ends of the earth.'[c]"

48When the Gentiles heard this, they were glad and honored the word of the Lord; and all who were appointed for eternal life believed.

Romans 11:11-17
11Again I ask: Did they stumble so as to fall beyond recovery? Not at all! Rather, because of their transgression, salvation has come to the Gentiles to make Israel envious. 12But if their transgression means riches for the world, and their loss means riches for the Gentiles, how much greater riches will their fullness bring!
13I am talking to you Gentiles. Inasmuch as I am the apostle to the Gentiles, I make much of my ministry 14in the hope that I may somehow arouse my own people to envy and save some of them. 15For if their rejection is the reconciliation of the world, what will their acceptance be but life from the dead? 16If the part of the dough offered as firstfruits is holy, then the whole batch is holy; if the root is holy, so are the branches.

17If some of the branches have been broken off, and you, though a wild olive shoot, have been grafted in among the others and now share in the nourishing sap from the olive root,

This response may be the same response he has to us regarding our negligence to love our enemies as ourselves. Lets begin to love them by praying for them, and inaugurating a new revival among the people of Islamic terrorism.

2008-03-30T18:25:00.005-05:00

Found another article that clarifies my positon on voting. Here is an excert from Ten Reasons Im Not Voting on Jesus Manifesto
1.I don’t like being forced to choose the lesser of two evils. Voting is the biggest intentional way in which Americans affirm the current political system. To vote is to put faith in the change that can come through American Democracy.

2.Voting is always exercising power over others. And voting for president is to bestow a power that carries coercive force. I know, I know: by my status in the world (especially my purchasing power) I already have power over others). Just because I’m already wielding my power consciously and unconsciously elsewhere, doesn’t mean that I should just acquiesce to vote now. THat is like saying it is ok for a professional thief to make that one, last, big score. It may make the act easier, but it doesn’t make it right.I think it is possible for a faithful Christian to vote. Whether we like it or not, we’re enmeshed within the system. We must make thoughtful attempts to live counter-culturally, thoughtful (and often strategic attempts) to extricate ourselves from the system, and thoughtful attempts to speak prophetically into the system. But must only do so AS Kingdom people. I think local-level voting is a good thing, because of the nature of political engagement at a local level, but it gets dicier the higher up the ladder you climb.

3.Even if I felt like I could vote with a clear conscience, I would still consider not-voting as a prophetic act. Before you dismiss that stance as a stupid one, let me say this: because of my odd stance on voting, I’ve had dozens (perhaps hundreds) of conversations about this. And it always leads to the same place: people may disagree with my position on voting, but they almost always agree that the Church needs to be more involved in direct action and take a stronger role in bringing systematic change. As long as I see the Church predominately trusting in Consumer-Capitalism and Liberal Democracy as the primary systems of change in the world, I will opt out of voting as a prophetic challenge to the church. The last time I looked, Jesus commissioned the Church to be his agent in the world, not governments.

4. It seems dishonest for me to vote for president. We get upset when immigrants vote. I am, fundamentally an expat. I wouldn’t vote if I lived in France either.

5.Voting divides Christians. I know that my stance could be seen as divisive too, but you’d be surprised. I’ve only ever gotten into arguments over my position a few times, and I found that it brought me closer to my “opponent.”

6. My candidate isn’t on the ballot. I suppose I could go to the polls and just write-in “Jesus of Nazareth.”

7. Voting reinforces the current party system. Alasdair MacIntyre says it better than I can:Try to promote the pro-life case that we have described within the Democratic Party and you will at best go unheard and at worst be shouted down. Try to advance the case for economic justice as we have described it within the Republican Party and you will be laughed out of court. … In this situation a vote cast is not only a vote for a particular candidate, it is also a vote case for a system that presents us only with unacceptable alternatives. The way to vote against the system is not to vote.I like this argument. People usually challenge my non-voting by saying: a no-vote is still a vote. Indeed. Not voting is a vote against the system.

8.Voting can indirectly support the killing of Christians by Christians. Related to #2 and #5: When you vote, you are electing a person who, as commander-in-chief, will use his military powers to kill others. In particular, it is likely that s/he will use military powers to send Christian troops to a place where Christian adversaries will be killed. I know that this argument doesn’t do it for everyone. But the truth that Christians have slaughtered other Christians for the past 2000 years because of their conflicting affiliations to different States is evil. And I, for one, would like to resist that as much as possible. Sure, one way of getting at this would be to vote for someone like Ron Paul, but another way would be fore all Christians to opt out of military service.

9. Voting is often a waste of energy. And the amount of time and money that goes into campaigns is a waste that I wish Christians would forgo. We are ruled by an aristocracy. Since McCain–Feingold, it is even harder for an outsider to get elected. The presidential elections only give the appearance that we have a real choice. But the truth is, our choice is limited to the handful of candidates who make it to the primaries…and from there, our choices shrink. The alternative is, of course, to write-in your own candidate.

10. I don’t believe in America or its constitution. Sure, we have a better system than most (if not all) other nations. But I don’t believe in the American Dream or that American makes the world a better place. All candidates will only expand the American Empire. And even Ron Paul is interested in expanding the Empire economically.

2008-03-30T16:35:00.002-05:00

A few weeks ago i wrote an article about the upcoming election and how im voting for Jesus. Evidently im not the only one who has had this thought this year. I just cameacross the book Jesus For President. I think im gonna order it and see what this Shane Claiborne guy is all about. i normally stay away from pop christian books- but this one has peaked my interest. Here is a lintany from them that i LOVE

Top Ten Heresies of the American Church

2008-03-10T15:41:00.002-05:00

this is an article i found on Christarchy

A heresy, according to I Timothy 6, is anything that stands against the teaching of the Christ. Soooo.... Here we go with the unspoken issues that seem to be most important in American churches:

1. Prejudice against the lower class
When Jesus says “blessed are you who are poor.”

2. Thinking salvation = comfort
When Jesus says, “Woe to you who are wealthy, for you have already received your comfort

3. That the only good leaders are seminary-educated leaders
When Jesus says, “The greatest among you shall be your slaves.”

4. Believing that the United States is or should be a Christian nation
When Jesus says, “The kingdom of God is near, repent and believe the gospel.”

5. Thinking that any political leader is a good Christian just because he uses evangelical language.
When Jesus says, “You shall know them by their fruits.”

6. Whole-hearted support of war
When Jesus’ command was to “love your enemies”

7. Supporting the unrestricted personal use of wealth
When Jesus’ command was to “sell your possessions and give to the poor.”

8. Believing that prayer is less effective than political or military action
When Jesus said, “Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find.”

9. Accepting the current division of ethics in politics along liberal and conservative lines—adopting rather than questioning worldly morality
When Jesus said, “Call no man teacher, for your only Teacher will be the Messiah.”

10. That obeying Jesus is only for super-saints, like Mother Teresa, and that living like Jesus isn’t possible for any “normal” Christian.
When Jesus said, “Who is my mother or brother or sister? The one who hears the word of God and does it.”

'08 candidate

2008-03-05T21:23:00.001-06:00

here is a blog post that i found the other day that seems to mirror what i said earlier. He takes a little different approach though
Why I'm Not Voting for Obama

Carribean

2008-02-27T19:47:00.003-06:00

It's Official-
sis just lost her game so we are headed to New Orleans tonight to get on the boat! For those taht havent heard my complaints aobut it the last week- im headed for a cruise through the Carribean into Mexico for the next week. As much as i hate it that she lost- im really excited for the trip. It'll be a nice break from this wonderful Missouri (pronounced Miz-uh-ree)weather. Pictures coming soon-

My Candidate for '08

2008-02-26T11:49:00.005-06:00

There is a tragic flaw in our precious Constitution, and I don't know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president.
- Kurt Vonnegut

This totally describes my feelings about all the condidates thus far. I am so sick of hearing about it. If I had to choose three people in the world that needed to be assasintaed it would be Britany Spears, Joel Olsteen, and Hillary. Mostly just becase im sick of hearing about them. OK- maybe assasination is a bit strong.

But i digress. This next upcoming election has discouraged me even more in the direction this country is heading. i honestly can not in good conscience cast my vote for any of the candidates. they need a place on the ballot that says "these suk. can i have some more choices?" or at least a box for consciencious objection to the current people, or system for that matter. So what im saying is that if the election took place today, I probably wouldnt vote. Or maybe just write in "JESUS". I think he would be a good president. Not that he ever would have had anything to do with a system like the presidency of the U.S. -dont get me started on that one. Which of course opens up the whole can of worms about how politically involved a Christian should really be with a social experiment like the USA. The whole thing just makes me sick.

Anyway- in speaking of this issue with my dad a few weeks ago, he told me something my great- grandpa said (who by the way was extremely concerned with politics, or so i've heard). He had evedintaly been pretty upset with whatever candidates where running that particular term. so, in disqust he says to my dad, "ya know- on election day this year- i might just go hunting."

That seems to be my reaction this year

And dont give me that crap response, "if you dont vote you can't complain!" What?!? I call BS on that. Im protesting the entire system. So yes i can complain. I cast my vote for Jesus, and his system of life and living. Not some system that lulls us into a false sense of security, a false cultural superiority, a false set of values. No- i think i will choose Jesus' upside down kingdom. His form of abundant life. Not America's

Longings for familiarity

2008-02-24T15:14:00.006-06:00

WHy do we long for the past so much? im at starbucks, doing some homework when suddenly a song comes on that immediatley launches me to a memory of a really happy productive time in my life. suddenly i find myself missing my world then. (The song irronically enough was Bright Eyes "The first day of my life". For some reason this always launches me to my semester off from ozark. I was officially living over on 8th st. but in actually spent all my time at the 511. The group of people are what i miss the most. Chad, Nick, Broc, Kristy, Jake, Krystal, Alexis, Veronica, Sarah, Antonio, and all the others that came in and out of that place so often. I grew a lot that semester.)

As many issues and trails as i was facing at the time- it was still one of the best times of my life. Why is it that we often find ourselves longing to relive our past? Or even as i have often realized of myself, and something that others have told me- that we sometimes wish to live in a different era. What would it have been like to live during the time of Jesus- right there next to him following him areound Israel. Or during the time of Ceaser, Napolean, there fighting against the holocaust, being active during the writing of history- and somehow being able to be more fully alive then than we are now. Maybe the reason we long for thee past is that it is safe. If we were able to go back to that time with the knowledge we have now we would know that everything was going to be ok- and that the moment we were living in would seem more special since we would realize how short that period of time really is.

Maybe the reason we arnet fully alive now, like those who shaped our world before us were, is that we dont realize the gravity of what is at stake in the here and now. Or that we dont realize how special and good the period of life that we are living in really is. Very soon change will come again and leave us remeniscing of this current stage of life we are experiencing. Longing for were we are now. longing to converse wth the people and relationships we now have and are close to. However this age of improtance that is the here and now never leaves us. This current age follows every moment. It always has been and always will be. The most important time in your life and in history is the present. This is an ever true reality. As it has been said 'it is up to every generation to find its own revolution', something worth fighting for, and to grow ciilization and more specifically our own life into something closer to what we long for, what it should be.

Maybe this is the difference between those that move this world, that change lives, affecet people for the good and bring about the kingdom of God. Maybe it is that they are willing to live fully in the here and now- not in the ever progressing past, or wishing and reminiscing about it, wishing to change something in it. maybe they have wrestled with, have come to terms with, and understand the emenance of their own impending death. The world does not need you to ask her what it needs particularly, because it needs you simply to live fully. Because that is what changes the world. People who are experincing abundant life.

Frankl (someone i often refer too) says "Live as if you were living a second time, and as though you had acted wrongly the first." That kind of sums it up.

In a similar statement Frankl says,
"Ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather he must recognize that it is he who is asked. "
The world and life is now asking you and me- What now?

Constance

2008-02-24T14:56:00.001-06:00

antonio posted this on myspace. dang. . .

CODY!

2008-02-24T14:40:00.006-06:00

Cody Vanvactor is finally comin back! And hes gonna be livin with me and Chad! Im really excited about it- he's been in A-frikin-ghanistan for way to long. It'll be really good to have him back. That top picture is Chad Cody Jeremy and I at Sams Throne

The Measure of a Man

2008-02-22T23:13:00.005-06:00

You may have heard it said that the measure of a man's power is the measure of his surrender (William Booth). But i say NAY! NAY MY FRIEND! THE MEASURE OF A MAN IS THE MEASURE OF HIS BEARD! HA!

- - -oh how i miss my beard. I broke down a few months ago and became socially acceptable by trimming it. So i guess now i am simply less of a man.

Whiskerino

Quick look at Existentialism and logotherapy

2008-02-22T21:01:00.005-06:00

THis is a paper i wrote a few years ago- just wanted to get it online for a quick introduction to existentialism that some folks have been asking for- so here ya go.

Walter Kaufman in his book Critique of Religion and Philosophy states

“Any philosophic work that pursues one to the exclusion of the other (in speaking of psychology devoid of philosophy and vice-versa) does so at its peril. Psychological speculation without special attention to the concepts used is likely to be philosophically naive-and Freud’s so called metapsychology is a case in point. But what is overlooked by many contemporary philosophers is that conceptual analysis divorced from all philosophy are no less naive.” (Parenthesis mine)1

He continues in stating that one philosophical movement that has managed to escape this trend is that of existentialism, and specifically discussed in this paper, existential psychotherapy.

Existential psychotherapy is best described as a philosophical approach that influences a therapists practice. It goes by a number of different names, some stressing certain steps of the theory, but more often just different names referring to the same thought process. These range form existential psychotherapy, existential analysis, and to the most common, logotherapy, which is what it will be considered in this paper. The term existential analysis has continued to be used, and appears to refer to a different aspect of Viktor Frankl’s theory and method than logotherapy. Tweedie notes that “these terms are nearly synonymous and refer to two facets of the same theory.”2

Logotherapy is derived form two Greek words, the first of which is Logos. The general meaning of this word is “a word, a saying, a statement; reason, the mental faculty of thinking, calculation.”3 The second word is therapeia (which is form therapeuo), meaning “service rendered by one to another;” specifically, “medical service, curing, healing. . .” In essence logotherapy is healing through meaning, or therapy through meaning. Frankl states,

“Let me explain why I have employed the term ‘logotherapy’ as the name for my theory. Logos is a Greek word that denotes ‘meaning’! Logotherapy or as it has been called by some authors, ‘the Third School of Viennese Psychotherapy,’ focuses on the meaning of human existence as well as on man’s search for a meaning. According to logotherapy, the striving to find a meaning in ones life is the primary motivational force in man”4

Frankl’s logotherapy has been called as stated the “Third Viennese School of Psychotherapy.” It was preceded by Freud’s ‘psychoanalysis’, and Adler’s ‘individual psychology’, which are considered the first and the second Viennese schools of psychotherapy.

Background and Development: Existential Philosophical Roots

The existential therapy movement was not established by any one person or group. Rather it has grown out of a major theme in philosophy. It arose spontaneously in different parts of Europe, and among different schools of psychology and psychiatry in the 1940's and 1950's5

May shows that the development of the existential movement in psychology is in part an outgrowth of the phenomenological movement in philosophy, with Husserl’s phenomenology influencing it particularly. Existential philosophy, the second major contributor, had its origins in the work of Kierkegaard and Jaspers, as well as later existential writers including Heidegger, Marcel, and Sartre.

May defines existentialism as “the endeavor to understand man by cutting below the cleavage between subject and object which has bedeviled Western thought and science since shortly after the Renaissance. . . . It arose specifically just over a hundred years ago in Kierkegaard’s violent protest against the reigning rationalism of his day, Hegels ‘totalitarianism of reason,’ to use Maritain’s phrase.”6 It focuses on the experience of the individual, especially outside that of the intellect to that of experience, and on existence in its total involvement in a situation within the world.

Key Founders

Viktor Frankl is considered to be the foremost contributor to existential psychotherapy and the founder of Logotherapy. He founded the Youth Advisement centers there in 1928 and directed them until 1938. He received his MD. in 1930 and his Ph.D. in 1949, both at the University of Vienna. He was on staff at the Neuropsychiatric University Clinic from 1930 to 1938. He was a specialist in Neurology and psychiatry and then the head of the Neurological Department at Rothschild Hospital in Vienna from 1936 to 1942. He became head of the Neurological Policlinic Hospital in Vienna in 1946. In 1947 he was appointed associate professor of neurology and psychiatry at the University of Vienna, and became a professor in 1955. He was visiting professor at Harvard University summer school in 1961, and in 1964 and1965, visiting professor at the Chicago Psychiatric Foundation.7 Frankl’s parents, brother, wife, and children died in the concentration camps at Auschwitz and Dachau, where he was a prisoner from 1942-1945. This was perhaps one of the most defining events in his life that shaped his theories.

Another key figure in the development of the existential movement was Rollo May. He is credited with bringing it from Europe to the United States and for translating key concepts into psychotherapeutic practice. His writings have had a large amount of influence on existentially orientated practitioners.

May was born in 1909 and first lived in Ohio then moving to Michigan as a young child with his five brothers and a sister. In his youth he studied ancient Greek civilization, which he believes gave him an adequate view of human nature. He later traveled to Vienna and studied with Alfred Adler. While in his doctoral program he came down with tuberculosis, which resulted in a 2 year stay in a sanitarium. During his recovery he spent a large amount of time reading on the subject of anxiety. This resulted in the writing of a number of his popular books. His greatest personal influence was that of Paul Tillich, a German philosopher. He spent much time with him discussing matters of dealing with philosophy, religion, and psychology. May was one of the main proponents of the humanistic approach to psychotherapy, and was the principle American spokesman of European existential thinking as it is applied to psychotherapy.8

Two other existential therapist that had a significant impact in the United States are James Bugental and Irvin Yalom.

Philosophy and Concepts; Views of Human Nature

The most significant part of the existential movement is the fact that it is devoid of a particular tendency to identify therapy to a set standard of techniques. Rather it bases it’s practice on the understanding of what it means to be a human. They stand for respect of the person, for exploring new aspects of human nature and for divergent methods of understanding people.9

Frankl, in his book, Psychotherapy and Existentialism says that there is however a theory, a vision underlying the practice of Logotherapy. He goes on to point out that there are three basic assumptions of the human condition that form a chain of interconnected links. They can be called Freedom of Will, Will to Meaning, and Meaning of Life.10 These are what all of logotherapy is based. These will be outlined later in the six propositions of logotherapy.

The fact that humans are in a constant state of transition captures in part the existential view of human nature. This would be that the significance of our existence is never fixed once and for all; rather we continually re-create ourselves through our projects. According to the existential approach, there are six basic dimensions to the human condition. They are (1) the capacity for self-awareness; (2) freedom and responsibility; (3) creating ones identity and establishing meaningful relationships with others; (4) the search for meaning, purpose, values and goals; (5) anxiety as a condition of living; and (6) awareness of death and nonbeing.11

The Capacity for Self-Awareness

Bugental states, “A central fact of the human experience is that man is aware.”12 Man has the capacity to reflect and make choices based on the past, and their view of the future because we have to capacity of self-awareness. The greater ones awareness the greater possibility they have for freedom. In order to live more fully, one must increase their awareness. When this is done they become aware of a number of facts about their existence. One inescapable fact that one must meet in his awareness is that it is finite, limited and incomplete; we do not have an unlimited time to do what we want with our life. As well as becoming aware of the outside or internal conditions that have effected the way we make decisions in life.

Another fact that one must find is that we have the potential to take action or to stay stagnant and to not act, however inaction is a decision to act in itself. We can chose our actions therefore to some extent we can create our own destiny. This creates a search for meaning which is not automatically bestowed on us but is the product of our search and of discovering a purpose. One then can discover a sense of responsibility when they experience concern about the actions they take because they realize the consequences of their choices. This is described as Existential Anxiety, which is discussed later in this paper.

Another awareness we face is the fact that we are basically alone. We come to the realization that while others can share in some of our experiences, they are still completely separate from us. This can be illustrated in the fact that no matter how close we are to someone, we are still completely separate from them, a completely separate individual. This can be where one will experience loneliness and the ultimate threat of complete isolation.

Freedom and Responsibility

One of the central themes of existentialism that logotherapy embraces is that of free- will. Especially that individuals are free to choose who they will become and what their meaning or destiny will be. We have a large role in the shaping of our destinies because we are free to choose among alternatives. Because of this freedom we must accept responsibility for the direction of our lives. Freedom means freedom in the face of the instincts, inherited disposition, and the environment. Humans are influenced by all these factors, however they still have the freedom to accept or reject and to take a stand against these conditions. So, humans do not simply exist, they are able to decide what their existence will be. Since they can rise above biological, psychological and sociological conditions, which is what the predictions for which their future is based, they are individually unpredictable.13

Existentialist are then anti-deterministic in that they see the person transcending both himself and his culture. Frankl states that each person is ultimately self-determining. One can avoid this responsibility by making excuses for the reason they decide in the ways they have. For example they may state, “that’s just the way I am,” or, “I am this way because of my alcoholic father.” This ultimately is choosing not to live authentically and not accepting responsibility. Bugental states, “under the influence of radical determinism we have tended to see the person as but this collection of past perceptions, and we have taught each other well so that we come to see ourselves in the same fashion.”14 Frankl says in Man’s Search for Meaning,

“Every human being has the freedom to change at any instant. Therefore we can predict his future only in the large framework of a statistical survey referring to a whole group; the individual personality, however remains essentially unpredictable. The basis for any predictions would be represented by biological, psychological, or sociological conditions. Yet one of the main features of human existence is the capacity to rise above such conditions, to grow beyond them. Man is capable of changing the world for the better if possible, and of changing himself for the better if necessary.”15

Therefore man, unless they are mentally or developmentally disabled are completely free to decide for themselves. However cinstricted this freedom is it still leaves them with the opportunity to choose ones course or simply to stand up against the conditions which limit them. Arbuckle adds,

“Freedom is the core of existential thought. This may be experienced as Sartre’s consciousness of freedom, Jaspers existence as freedom, Kierkegaard’s self as freedom, or Tillich’s concept of man as freedom. They are all saying the same thing-that I am free, that where I go and what I do depends on me, not the forces outside of me or even the forces that I may have internalized as a part of me. I, and I alone, always have to ultimate choice, and this choice I am free to make. The very fact that one is alive means that he has the potential to be free, but one is never free to live, of course, until he is free to die.”16

Humans cannot avoid freedom, because we create ourselves and our world, however, we may wish that it were otherwise, that maybe there is a structure or a foundation that is outside ourselves that we may cast ourselves onto in order to ease this burden. A well known quote from Sartre is that “man is condemned to be free; because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does.”

Frankl goes on to insist that freedom is not only from something but that more importantly it is for something: responsibility. He states,

“Freedom however, is not the last word. Freedom is only part of the story and half of the truth. Freedom is but the negative aspect of the whole phenomenon whose positive aspect is responsibleness. In fact freedom is in danger of degenerating into mere arbitrariness unless it is lived in the terms of responsibleness. That is why I recommend that the Statue of Liberty on the East Coast be supplemented by a Statue of Responsibility on the West Coast.”17

The individual is responsible to themselves, to his or her conscience, or to God. The goal of the therapist is then to make the patient fully aware of his or her responsibilities, and it must leave them with the option for what, to what, or to whom he sees himself being held responsible to. Thus freedom and responsibility go hand in hand.

Striving for Identity and Relationship to Others
Man is concerned with preserving his individuality and uniqueness, but also desires to be found in a community. Man is an extremely relational being. Most people however have not trusted themselves to find answers and have settled for directions, answers, values and beliefs from the important people in their world. One becomes a stranger to himself, and merely a mirror of what others expect him to be.

It is a struggle and takes courage to learn how to live from the inside of oneself. One of the greatest fears a client expresses is that there is no core to themselves, that they are merely reflections of everyone expectations of them.

One part of the human experience is that of aloneness, however, strength can be derived from sensing this separation and looking into ourselves. We alone must decide how we will live and give meaning to life. This cannot come from anothers expectations. Before we can come into a good relation with another we must be able to stand on our own. This reinforces the fact that the human is ultimately alone. Man is a very relational being and longs to be significant in another persons world. Relationships however are not built on deprivation but on personal fulfilment. Only when one is able to stand alone and dip into themselves for strength can they enter into healthy relations with another. Otherwise this creates parasitic relationships.

The Search for Meaning
Perhaps the most distinguishing human characteristic of man is his search for significance and meaning. It is “the most human phenomenon of all, since an animal never worries about the meaning of its existence.”18 This, which is described as the second of the three basic tenets of Logotherapy19, is man’s primary motivational force for living. This is in contrast to Freud’s “will to pleasure”, and Adler’s “will to power”.20It must be sought after, defined and achieved by each person individually, since each person is unique as well as their specific meaning. This is not however a drive in the psychodynamic sense. The human is pushed by his drives, but one is drawn forward by their pursuit of meaning.

Meaningless in life leads to an emptiness, a condition Frankl calls an ‘existential vacuum’. With no instincts to guide their behavior and with the disappearances of traditions to guide their choices but faced with the necessity to make these choices, people do not know what to do or what they want to do. Frankl states that “the existential vacuum manifest itself mainly in a state of boredom. . . . In actual fact, boredom is now causing, and certainly bringing to psychiatrists, more problems to solve than distress.”21 In this type of boredom man is ultimately let down by all his pursuits. He is continually seeking a new high, like a child seeking new toys when one has lost its appeal, only to find that nothing can satisfy his heart. One manifestation is that of what Frankl calls “Sunday neuroses.” This is when the busyness and the demands of the week slow down and one is faced with the ultimate lack of content on their lives, and they become aware of the void within them.

People attempt to flee this feeling of meaninglessness in a number of ways. There are essentially three facets that present themselves in this vacuum, which are depression, aggression, and addiction. They compensate for it by a seeking after money, which leads to a seeking after more and more possessions. In other cases this is compensated for by a seeking after pleasure. “That is why existential frustration often eventuates in sexual compensation. We can observe in such cases that the sexual libido becomes rampant in the existential vacuum.”22 A compensation is also often found in alcohol and drugs.

Meaning however cannot be sought after as something to obtain. Finding meaning is a by-product of a commitment to engaging in life. Meaning like happiness must be a by-product. Frankl states,

“happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue. One must have a reason to be happy. Once the reason is found however, one becomes happy automatically. As we see, a human being is not one in pursuit of happiness but rather in search of a reason to be happy, last but not least, through actualizing the potential meaning inherent and dormant in a given situation.”23

This is what is considered “paradoxical intention.” Human existence is rather a matter of self-transcendence than that of self-actualization. For self-actualization is not something that can be aimed at “for the simple reason that the more a man would strive for it, the more he would miss it. For only to the extent to which a man commits himself to the fulfillment of his life’s meaning, to this extent he also actualizes himself. In other words self-actualization cannot be attained it is made an end in itself, but only as a side effect of self-transcendence.”24

Logotherapy states that there are three different ways one can find meaning: by creating a work or doing a deed, by experiencing something or encountering someone, and by the attitude we take toward unavoidable suffering.25 A main aspect of Logotherapy is that of how human suffering can be turned into human achievement by the stand one chooses to take in the face of it. Suffering ceases to be suffering the moment that it finds meaning. Suffering perhaps has the most potential at aiding someone in finding meaning. Frankl attacks one of our self-centered thoughts when he says,

“Ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather he must recognize that it is he who is being asked. In a word, each man is questioned by life; and he can only answer to life by answering for his own life; to life he can only respond by being responsible. Thus, logotherapy sees in responsibleness the very essence of human existence.”

Anxiety as a Condition of Living

Anxiety is seen by the existentialist as an inevitable neurotic component. There is a difference however between normal anxiety and neurotic anxiety. Normal anxiety is seen as not needed to be repressed as it can be used as a motivations to change. Living healthily entails living with as little nuerotic anxiety as possible, while struggling and accepting normal anxiety. This is called Existential Anxiety which is basically a consciousness of our own freedom. It can be expressed as a deep feeling of unease that arises from the awareness that our existence is finite, we are mortal, and there is no purpose other than that which we create for ourselves. This anxiety then should be the response to the fact that we have the responsibility to create a worthwhile existence in our limited time, and that there is no external standard which can define what that existence should be. This form of anxiety however is good. It is the recognition that one does indeed have responsibility. It is viewed as a positive sign in that it signals that the individual has begun the process of accepting responsibility for their lives.

Kierkegaard described it as the “dizziness of freedom”and Rollo May states that “anxiety is the experience of the threat of imminent non-being.”26 We experience this kind of healthy anxiety when we become aware of our own freedom and the consequences of how we choose, and deal with that freedom. Freedom and anxiety go hand in hand, they are considered two sides of the same coin. Existentialist do not attempt at eliminating this form of anxiety, for to do so would cut off a vital opportunity for change and growth. Frankl states,

“What man actually needs is not a tensionless state but rather the striving and struggling for a worthwhile goal, a freely chosen task. What he needs is not the discharge of tension at all cost but the call of a potential meaning waiting to be fulfilled by him.”27

This is often one issue that brings someone into counseling and is the signal that the client has begun the journey to change.

Awareness of Death and Non-Being

(Some of this section was posted earlier below under "Death")

Death, in Logotherapy, is not viewed negatively. It is considered vitally important at finding meaning in the here and now. It is a basic human condition that brings significance to life. The ability to grasp the reality that we as humans are mortal and finite is an essential part of realizing that we do not have an eternity to complete our projects, and that each passing moment is crucial. If man were immortal on this side of eternity then he would be ever putting off his projects to tomorrow, the day after, or 100 years after that. Frankl states that “The meaning of human existence is based on its irreversible quality.”28

The fact that the length of life does not determine it’s meaning is another fact that must be realized. Frankl adds that a book is not judged by the number of pages in it, but rather by the quality it contains. Also when one is morbidly pre-occupied with prolonging his life because of his fear of death, he is immobilized. Those who fear death also fear life. If we accept the reality of death and live in the present, we will not be obsessed with its ending, however we will find true freedom. While physical death destroys us, the idea of death can save us. The simple act of being aware of our finiteness can be the very act that moves us out of a stagnant mode of living and into a more authentic one.29

An important way of looking at this category is seen in Frankl’s imperative of, “Live as if you were living already for the second time and as if you had acted the first time as wrongly as you are about to act now!”30

Conclusion
The whole philosophy of Existential Psychotherapy and Logotherapy can be summed up in a single sentence from Nietzsche that Frankl was very fond of quoting, “He who has a why to live, can bear with almost any how.”

Logotherapy is essentially a secular approach to psychotherapy in that it does not claim one specific religion or denomination as its primary beneficiary. It has been made available to every person or therapist regardless if they are theistic or agnostic. It does however clearly leave the door open to religion, and there are some very distinct Christian themes in logotherapy which are found throughout the scriptures and the teachings of Christians. Logotherapy then, is open to cooperation with other approaches to psychotherapy, its own evolution, and to every religion and philosophy of man. Frankl concludes in his book Man’s Search for Ultimate Meaning with the statement that “I see the meaning of logotherapy in helping others to see meaning in life.”31

Censorship

2008-02-22T20:42:00.005-06:00

Though again I dont hold to all of what he says in his book, he has good material on censorship. He puts words to my reaction against part of the issue. Toward the end of this video Marinoff says,
“Am I responsible for your state of mind? Not arcording to the abc’s, according to political correctness, everyone is responsible for everyone else’s state of mind but not their own. Orwell would be freakin out. If orwell sould come back he would say, ‘I didn’t go far enough!!’ this is much crazier than anything orwell ever imagined”

A Better Love Song than Sara Could Sing

2008-02-22T18:50:00.005-06:00

Here is a poem my friend Samantha wrote- check it out- im gonna see if i can get some of her other stuff on here too...

A Better Love Song than Sara Could Sing

Warrior hands, once vagabonds with other girls, now hold softly
to The curves of my hips,
leading the blush of your lips
to silhouette sounds
…I would fight thousands for your love.

Well-deep eyes that reflect the courage of Daniel
Hold to the reflection of the whisper you have told me
…The eyes of His heart are always upon you.

And although I can’t swim,
A stead fast float leads me deeper into this holy water
which has captivated this hopeless poet.
Sink or swim, bathing in your guiltless rescue
I am no longer a captive of unreturned adulation

So fix your gaze on this defenseless heart
Let the words of Solomon’s song kiss
this vulnerable spirit and say, without hesitation
not to a blemished heart, but to one which finally beats
No longer hidden beneath the 24 ancestors of Adam’s remains

...Arise, my darling,
my beautiful one, and come with me

Quick look at Christian Fascism

2008-02-21T21:18:00.005-06:00

Here is A good introduction to some of my thoughts on recent trends in conservative christian america. Most of this post is just an excert from this book im working on now. I dont hold to much of his thoughts other than the Fascist trends in the church.

2008-02-20T17:35:00.000-06:00

You?? A Blog?? Why?!?

2008-02-18T02:26:00.000-06:00

Ok- let me explain first off before i go much further with this thing why i built it. Mainly its for my own personal musings. to help clear everything out that is going on inside my head in addition to my journal. it is primarily a way my family and friends can get a glimpse at what is goin on inside my life and this really thick skull that i seem to have inherited. This is not necessarliy anyhting that people will read (though i hope you do!) or for that matter would be worth the time of reading (though i hope it is!) Neither is it something i will always use. or possibly ever use. who knows maybe this is the first and last times- we'll see. hopfllyi can learn to disciplinemyelf to use it often - but opefully its not just ramblings- like this- ok im tired and delusional- goodnight

Death

2008-02-18T01:59:00.001-06:00

Death,should not be viewed negatively. It is vitally important at finding meaning in the here and now. It is a basic human condition that brings significance to life. The ability to grasp the reality that we as humans are mortal and finite is an essential part of realizing that we do not have an eternity to complete our projects, and that each passing moment is crucial. If man were immortal on this side of eternity then he would be ever putting off his projects to tomorrow, the day after, or 100 years after that. Frankl states that “The meaning of human existence is based on its irreversible quality.”

The fact that the length of life does not determine it’s meaning is another fact that must be realized. Frankl adds that a book is not judged by the number of pages in it, but rather by the quality it contains. Also when one is morbidly pre-occupied with prolonging his life because of his fear of death, he is immobilized. Those who fear death also fear life. If we accept the reality of death and live in the present, we will not be obsessed with its ending, however we will find true freedom. While physical death destroys us, the idea of death can save us. The simple act of being aware of our finiteness can be the very act that moves us out of a stagnant mode of living and into a more authentic one.

An important way of looking at this category is seen in Frankl’s imperative of, “Live as if you were living already for the second time and as if you had acted the first time as wrongly as you are about to act now!”

This is what has plagued my thoughts lately- for several reasons. for one i consider myself a christian existentialist, so awarenesss of death and non being is of course one of the basic tenets, even pillars if you will, of this philosophical orientation. Another reason this has been at the forfront of my thoughts is that i am currently enrolled in a hospice seminar through ozark. The reading for this class has really helped develop my own thoughts on the practical issues of living with an awareness of my own mortality. I read about the issues people have when they consiously face their own death, the thoughts, and regrets they have. the thingsthey want to accompplish in those final months or weeks, or even how they make ense of their current, past and future life.
so- i have lways tried to live with this awareness but i have recently come to the realization that i dont. how would i live differently if i truly was aware of my own impending death? Each moment would beocme so much more real, holy, and i would realize how special that moment was while i was still in the moment, not after it had passed. Maybe then i could be completely honest open and transparent with the people i came in contact with- all of them. Maybe then i would take time. Maybe then i would be productive in the time that i had taken, or been given. Maybe then the blinders that i insist on wearing would statrt to fall. Maybe then i would find the depth of true forgivness, and others would find it from me. Maybe then i wouldnt manipulate for personal gains or for fleeting feelings and attempts at significance. Maybe then my eyes and mind ould be pure- because then i would be able to see through flesh, materials, and stuff. Maybe then i would be truly pure, enlightened, educated, actualized, saved, sacred, reformed, found nirvana- whatever description you want to use. Maybe all this is found through death. Maybe real life is found through death. Maybe abundnt life really is after all found in dying to yourself.
So why is this life i desire so far removed from mine?why is that life not realized? Why cant i come to terms with my mortality? Why do i fight death so hard? Why do i desire real life, but insist on living in the illusions of real life? What then is death?
Maybe i have a lot to learn from people who really are dying- maybe i should follow them a little more closely since they are facing a reality that im not quite facing yet (at least not conciously). Maybe the dying can show me how to die. Which is of coure how to live.

oh ya- check this guy out. I think he's about got it figured out. say what you want about Oprah, but this is good.

2008-02-18T00:45:00.000-06:00