To Be Naked
(This post a joint effort between Chad Harrington and PW)
To be naked and not to feel naked is intimacy. Wait. That’s a final thought. Let me start form the beginning.
This is a thought that I have wrestled with for a number of years but has recently been brought to the forefront. I mulled through my feelings a while back about this issue again with my friend Candice, after a full day of climbing and getting to know new friends. Then after I sent a recent email of honesty, it was brought back to my attention. The whole argument goes back to my desire to someday be at the place where I can be completely open, honest, and transparent with everyone. Not only (but especially) with the people that I am closest too, but also with everyone that I come in contact with. To be an open book to the world. To be naked. And to be at a point in my relationship with Christ that, whatever those people feel about it, and whatever consequences there may be, don’t matter. Simply because I belong to Christ. Even when my honesty seems to not be taken well, or when the outcome is not quite what I was hoping for.
I guess this is all another attempt to know others and to be know. An attempt to create more unity. A closer community. To get out of the realm of shallow, fake relationships and conversations.
There is always something refreshing about a friend who often tells you what they appreciate about you, why they like being around you, why you are a unique individual. And on the other end of the spectrum, that friend that tells you when you have hurt them, as well as telling you when you have done something that that has annoyed them. We also have to keep in mind the psychological affects form bottling up emotions and thoughts. I guess that’s all part of learning to live in an intentional community with others. . .
John Elldredge makes similar statements in his book Wild at Heart when he says to “let people feel the weight of who you are, and let them deal with it.” I can hardly count with both hands the number of close friendships and relationships I have seen destroyed because of simple lack of raw honesty because there are too many. It makes me sick. And after suffering these tragedies, I no longer want to be the culprit
There are of course, major obstacles to this way of living. We like to put our best selves to the forefront, to portray our best selves. We often come to the point of being very self- promoting. Showing things about ourselves that are socially acceptable, or exaggerating different aspects of ourselves just enough to make us more attractive to those around us. John says it well-
“So maybe I try too hard
But it's all because of this desire
I just wanna be liked
I just wanna be funny
Looks like the jokes on me
So call me captain backfire”
(I cant believe I actually quoted John Mayer. . .)hahah.
So. . .Is this a phenomena that crosses the cultural divide or something we just find in America? Where we feel like we have to sell ourselves to others.
You could also quote Jack:
“Cash in your blanks, your little toy tanks,
Learn how to use them, abuse them,
Choose them over conversations,
relationships are overrated
‘I hated everyone,’ said the sun.”
This has to be something from God, like fidelity, faithfulness, relationships with others. I guess this whole concept kinda goes back to the incarnation. That whole thing about the Image of god that is put in us. Just think of the relationships in and among the trinity. Like the desire we have for fidelity in romantic relationships. All these thing we don’t really find in the animal world.
Then all this moves into the issue of recognition. When is it good to be recognized? When to disclose information about self?
Chad and I where talking about this whole subject, and the discussion led to how we carried ourselves in our time at Ozark. We found that we often had to guard ourselves with who we are open with, picky with who we associate with and why. We would kind of try to find people who are good enough to know us. People who would be ok with who are. People that wouldn’t try to force onto us some sort of false morality or ethic in order to measure our spirituality a little easier. This also came out in our dating. We are cautious who we let know us. Because we have to be comfortable that we would be accepted by them. The fear of them not accepting us. Need to be accepted. We pick people who are most like us because they are most likely to accept us.
The fall and Satan has perverted the relationship of knowing and being known. Just like he has perverted sexual relationships. I guess we just don’t realize the effect that sin has had on us, and how nothing is quite how it is supposed to be, or how the fall has effected every area of our life. These are institutions that were designed by God.
This all then moves back to the garden of Eden . Doug marks says that the fall affected us in 3 areas - guilt, shame, and nakedness.
Nakedness wasn’t a problem before we realized it, like eating never became a problem until we chose the wrong fruit.
It wasn’t until she took a bite that she realized she was naked. She didn’t realize that anything was wrong with her. Same thing with Adam. When they realized they were naked and they heard God walking in the cool of the day, they hid. God said, “Where are you?” “I’m hiding over here because I was afraid to be seen naked.” When sin entered the scene, they knew they weren’t perfect. Adam and Eve were naked and ashamed. Shame entered humanity. Before shame, they were still naked, but they weren’t embarrassed about who they were. They were transparent and boldly themselves...every part of them. But who they were was good. Sin had not entered into them. They didn’t know evil. But then their eyes were opened and they saw themselves as naked... sinful... and shameful.
So they hid.
To be naked and unashamed is what I want. The only hope for shameless nakedness is to be restored to what was true before the fall, before sin. We must become what they were when they were naked and unashamed.
Sin makes us ashamed. When we wear clothes (metaphorically speaking) over our souls, it’s very easy to cover up the parts of us that we don’t want seen. If there’s a little fat on our hips, a baggy shirt with a cool logo will take the focus off of our rockin’ love handles. If our arms are flabby, a long-sleeve shirt does the trick. If our faces are ugly, there’s not a whole lot you can do. But that’s beside the point.
Everyone has part of themselves that they like to hide. I’m hiding that part of me from you right now by talking in non-specifics. The reason that Adam and Eve felt shame is that they saw themselves through the eyes of Another and did not think it was okay, that they would be disappointing. Before, they weren’t even concerned about themselves. Their authenticity (nakedness) wasn’t even in their consciousness. It takes two things to be ashamed: to see yourself through the eyes of another and to know your depravity.
There are two things that can happen when one is totally authentic: to be accepted or rejected. Fear is when we are afraid of being rejected. Shame is when we are rejected. Guilt is knowing that our shame is our own fault. Sin makes for guilt and nakedness makes for shame. We are guilty when we realize that we sinned. We are shamed when we realize that someone else knows about our sin. Nakedness exposes our real colors, our real skin, our real selves.
When one fears nakedness, it is because they fear being shamed (other people realizing their sin). So either they ignore their sin or they get rid of it. Those who don’t ignore it, but take care of it find satisfaction in purity, sinlessness. Those are the only two options. If we ignore it, we are simply suppressing it and bottling it up. But in Christ, we have the opportunity to become good again. We can now ignore it because Christ has gotten rid of it. We have the opportunity to see ourselves through God’s eyes again how Adam and Eve once saw themselves... as good. Instead of ignoring our sin that came into the world by the fruit of a tree, Christ came and dealt with our sin once and for all by dying on a tree. By taking all the shame we should feel, Christ raises us to our feet and tells us we can now stand naked and unashamed. We can be naked and unashamed because no matter what the world tells us about ourselves, no matter how they perceive us, there’s only one opinion that matters. There’s only one person who can see our true colors, our true skin, or true selves and see us for how we really are. And so we can go back to that garden in the cool of the day and walk around being completely, authentically ourselves. This is what Christ has done in us—he was naked and shamed so that we can be naked and unashamed.
The beauty of the redeemer is that he takes our fallen state and our suckiness, and we admit to God in his presence who we are, how lost we really are. Then god lifts us up . And loves us anyway. In that moment we are redeemed. In that moment we are completely open, honest and transparent. We are naked again. We are moving back to the garden. The thing that we had hidden out of shame at first are now in the open. Our nakedness and our sin. But this time is different. Because we are honest. Then we find intimacy.
Or maybe this all just means that i shouldnt wear clothes any more. . . which i do from time to time. People dont quite like that much. So i had to put my clothes back on.
